Lykourgos
Lykourgos
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This article is for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not reflect those of any institution. If you are a hoplite in need of assistance, you should contact a local firm to obtain legal advice with respect to your particular issue.
The daily commute. Whether you drive, ride, or walk, it’s a significant part of your life. It’s a simple process for most, too, save the hustle and bustle. Yet, for one group of ancient people, getting to and from the workplace is anything but straightforward. From their choice of dress to their weighty panoply, hoplites face a host of troubling issues.
Employers may welcome hoplites in the office, but very few companies barrack their employees on-site. That means hoplites must navigate daily from the camp to the office, during which time they are subject to disapproving glances and a host of criminal statutes and local ordinances. Given these considerations, what is the most effective way for a hoplite to start his workday, and how should he deal with the many legal and social challenges?
Physically speaking, hoplites are amongst the most encumbered commuters out there. Clasping a spear of at least 2 metres length in one hand, and a shoulder-to-knee length shield in the other, a hoplite quite literally has his hands full throughout the day. Additionally, he needs a sword, and he would further carry a weight of bronze if he decided to dress in a cuirass, greaves, or helm. Finally, footwear is often non-existent, and it is not unusual for hoplites to commute in the nude. Even when they do get dressed, hoplites shun suits in favour of revealing cloaks and tunics.
Hoplites were early adopters of tablet technology
With such considerations in mind, how are hoplites to make their commute? As mentioned at the start of this article, people are typically able to drive, ride public transport, or walk. In examining these options in a major city like Chicago, one will soon appreciate the difficulties facing our ancestors as they make a living in modern society.
Driving poses unique challenges; few cars have an interior that can comfortably fit a spear of two to four metres length, especially when you further consider the need to fit the shield. Additionally, any hoplite wishing to wear a cuirass or greaves would find it difficult to comfortably sit and operate the vehicle. An enclosed helm would also severely restrict the driver’s vision, increasing the likelihood of committing traffic violations and endangering the public. While driving is very convenient, these issues are not to be sneezed at.
Public transport, despite being a good way to cover long distances in an environmentally friendly manner, does not lend itself well to hoplites. In many cities, commuters are specifically barred from carrying weapons on trains and buses. The crowded, rush hour environment would further make wielding a spear hazardous to one's health. Laws also forbid indecent exposure, requiring every hoplite to wear a cloak and tunic come rain, hail, or shine. Furthermore, a hoplite would need to walk to and from the station, thereby incurring all of the associated problems outlined in the following paragraph.
Walking is the most traditional method for hoplites. Yet, it puts the commuter squarely in the public eye, with all the incumbent problems. As previously indicated, the hoplite would need to go out fully dressed despite the summer heat. Law enforcement is also likely to take a dim view of wielding weapons in public; hoplites should consult local counsel about whether specific arms and armour violate the criminal code and local ordinances. Finally, there is the simple matter of distance; even if one sets out at dawn, there is only so much distance one can walk.
Landscaping is a popular profession amongst hoplites
Given these challenges, what can be done to make the commute easier for hoplites? What about other ancient people? Is there an inclusive solution that may improve the commute for all of us? Any people wishing to get involved in this issue should comment below, and follow up with the relevant political action committees. Concerned hoplites are encouraged to contact small firms with any law-related enquires; until your legislature enacts reforms, local attorneys are best able to assist you with navigating the relevant laws and regulations.
The daily commute. Whether you drive, ride, or walk, it’s a significant part of your life. It’s a simple process for most, too, save the hustle and bustle. Yet, for one group of ancient people, getting to and from the workplace is anything but straightforward. From their choice of dress to their weighty panoply, hoplites face a host of troubling issues.
Employers may welcome hoplites in the office, but very few companies barrack their employees on-site. That means hoplites must navigate daily from the camp to the office, during which time they are subject to disapproving glances and a host of criminal statutes and local ordinances. Given these considerations, what is the most effective way for a hoplite to start his workday, and how should he deal with the many legal and social challenges?
Physically speaking, hoplites are amongst the most encumbered commuters out there. Clasping a spear of at least 2 metres length in one hand, and a shoulder-to-knee length shield in the other, a hoplite quite literally has his hands full throughout the day. Additionally, he needs a sword, and he would further carry a weight of bronze if he decided to dress in a cuirass, greaves, or helm. Finally, footwear is often non-existent, and it is not unusual for hoplites to commute in the nude. Even when they do get dressed, hoplites shun suits in favour of revealing cloaks and tunics.
Hoplites were early adopters of tablet technology
With such considerations in mind, how are hoplites to make their commute? As mentioned at the start of this article, people are typically able to drive, ride public transport, or walk. In examining these options in a major city like Chicago, one will soon appreciate the difficulties facing our ancestors as they make a living in modern society.
Driving poses unique challenges; few cars have an interior that can comfortably fit a spear of two to four metres length, especially when you further consider the need to fit the shield. Additionally, any hoplite wishing to wear a cuirass or greaves would find it difficult to comfortably sit and operate the vehicle. An enclosed helm would also severely restrict the driver’s vision, increasing the likelihood of committing traffic violations and endangering the public. While driving is very convenient, these issues are not to be sneezed at.
Public transport, despite being a good way to cover long distances in an environmentally friendly manner, does not lend itself well to hoplites. In many cities, commuters are specifically barred from carrying weapons on trains and buses. The crowded, rush hour environment would further make wielding a spear hazardous to one's health. Laws also forbid indecent exposure, requiring every hoplite to wear a cloak and tunic come rain, hail, or shine. Furthermore, a hoplite would need to walk to and from the station, thereby incurring all of the associated problems outlined in the following paragraph.
Walking is the most traditional method for hoplites. Yet, it puts the commuter squarely in the public eye, with all the incumbent problems. As previously indicated, the hoplite would need to go out fully dressed despite the summer heat. Law enforcement is also likely to take a dim view of wielding weapons in public; hoplites should consult local counsel about whether specific arms and armour violate the criminal code and local ordinances. Finally, there is the simple matter of distance; even if one sets out at dawn, there is only so much distance one can walk.
Landscaping is a popular profession amongst hoplites
Given these challenges, what can be done to make the commute easier for hoplites? What about other ancient people? Is there an inclusive solution that may improve the commute for all of us? Any people wishing to get involved in this issue should comment below, and follow up with the relevant political action committees. Concerned hoplites are encouraged to contact small firms with any law-related enquires; until your legislature enacts reforms, local attorneys are best able to assist you with navigating the relevant laws and regulations.
Lykourgos
Lykourgos
Post rating:
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Front page please. Please share any helpful comments and suggestions, this is an important issue and input is welcome.
The article can also be read on Linked in for those of you with an account:
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140731205636-145578104-the-hoplite-commute
The article can also be read on Linked in for those of you with an account:
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140731205636-145578104-the-hoplite-commute
Edited by Lykourgos ()
aerdil
aerdil
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Thank you for your well-researched and thought out article, Lykourgos. I find it both relevant and informative to my concerns here at the Rhizzone.
palafox
palafox
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ahem -mrrhmhm- This is the Fag Shit
Lykourgos
Lykourgos
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wow, thanks for that example of the discrimination and rudeness faced by hoplites, palafox
cars
cars
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating:
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hop lite? truly, tpain is dead.
littlegreenpills
littlegreenpills
Poronto
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what if they assume a phalanx formation and dominate the whole sidewalk
palafox
palafox
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what if they sodomize every sweet male youth they come across. what then
[account deactivated]
stegosaurus
stegosaurus
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Lets start a LinkedIn socialist caucus
Lykourgos
Lykourgos
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The best way to start the caucus is to click the link below a thousand times so the article shoots up to the top of linkedin, thereby causing millions of business people to carefully consider socialist options for getting hoplites to work on time.
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140731205636-145578104-the-hoplite-commute
I'm trying to figure out how the site works still. Bill Gates needs to understand the plight of ancient, under-represented peoples.
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140731205636-145578104-the-hoplite-commute
I'm trying to figure out how the site works still. Bill Gates needs to understand the plight of ancient, under-represented peoples.
Peelzebub
Peelzebub
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I THOUGHT THEN THIS MOVIE WOS WITH DWAYNE JONSON
THIS WOS LIKE A ARABIC MOVIE
THE WORST MOVIE OF 2014
THIS WOS LIKE A ARABIC MOVIE
THE WORST MOVIE OF 2014
Superabound
Superabound
Not Your S.H.I.E.L.D.
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i just ate an Arbys Philly cheesesteak that was left out on the counter unrefrigerated for 7 hours straight. do you think ill be ok
aerdil
aerdil
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Superabound posted:i just ate an Arbys Philly cheesesteak that was left out on the counter unrefrigerated for 7 hours straight. do you think ill be ok
no. but however long it was left out is superfluous information to that answer.
Panopticon
Panopticon
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14-year-old burger?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZOmw2d_Whk
no it's not about mustang
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZOmw2d_Whk
no it's not about mustang
Barbarossa
Barbarossa
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seems like the segway is the modern reiteration of the chariot, that could work well for the hoplite. plenty of vertical spear room, can wear full armour while driving without a problem, good speed and stability for attacking from the platform if need be, and it runs on electricity instead of gas which shows your neighbors that you care.
Lykourgos
Lykourgos
Post rating:
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That's a really good suggestion, Barbarossa, I didn't even think of the Segway. You could put a shower curtain sort of setup over it, too, if the hoplite's choice of dress is overly revealing.
guidoanselmi
guidoanselmi
meet me in st louis
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Lykourgos posted:Driving poses unique challenges; few cars have an interior that can comfortably fit a spear of two to four metres length, especially when you further consider the need to fit the shield.
get a fucking sunroof, plebe