#721
Not Your S.H.I.E.L.D.
Post rating: ~
my employer pays me some money and spoils me with the occasional stolen moment to refuel my deteriorating body /brag
#722
Not Your S.H.I.E.L.D.
Post rating: ~
sometimes he even lets me put my water in a cup rather than drinking it straight out of the trough. suck it, bitches
#723
Post rating: ~
I got a $200 bonus last Friday. it was pretty sweet
can't wait for the epic christmas bonus
#724
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +
Wow. You all get a trough? When I was at the Bukey plant, only the crew on the top levels got to drink water, the rest of us had to drink their sweat as it dripped through the pachinko sieve of grates, tubes, and dangerous vats. In a shift driving a forklift in the subterranean hive of trash furnaces you might drink sweat passed through twenty or thirty bodies before it had dampened your throat.
#725
Poronto
Post rating: +
my employer lets me be gay and dumb
#726
[account deactivated]
#727
FLAWDA
Post rating: +
my employer has been paying me to edit some scans of letters into a book for a friend of his and all of the letters are from the late 1960s and contain gems such as "i realized you don't have a position in my toad kingdom" and "i'd like you to be my toad princess (if you're ready)", as well as "i was one of the 10,000 asses unfortunate enough to have paid to $6 to see the doors. i wouldn't pay $2 to see the doors. jim morrison is an ALCOHOLIC". all of the letters are from like 15-18 year old kids who were members of the Liberal Religious Youth organization in the Unitarian church http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberal_Religious_Youth
my boss described it as "we drank, did drugs, sucked, fucked" and i was kind of caught off guard by the "sucked" part of it
#728
political car tune
Post rating: ~

tpaine posted:

YEAH!!! LETS GET FUCKIN JOBS!!! IM FUCKIN FIRED UP TO GO OUT THERE AND MAKE A LIVING AS A RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE MEMBER OF THE AMERICAN WORKFORCE, CONTRIBUTING DILIGENTLY AND PERSISTENTLY TO THE SMOOTH OPERATION OF THE AMERICAN ECONOMY, WHETHER ITS THE SERVICE, MANUFACTURING, OR OTHER SECTOR!!! FUCKING HELL YES, WE ARE GONNA GET MOTHERFUCKING JOBS PEOPLE!!! BELIEVE IT!!! SET THOSE ALARMS, DRINK YOUR COFFEE AND OR RED BULL, AND GET OUT THERE AND GET SHIT THE FUCK DONE!!! YEEAAAHHH!!!!


thanks mick romney

#729
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stegosaurus posted:

Utah is like honorary south



yo ima be in Utah in february

#730
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#731
Post rating: ~

tpaine posted:

YEAH!!! LETS GET FUCKIN JOBS!!! IM FUCKIN FIRED UP TO GO OUT THERE AND MAKE A LIVING AS A RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE MEMBER OF THE AMERICAN WORKFORCE, CONTRIBUTING DILIGENTLY AND PERSISTENTLY TO THE SMOOTH OPERATION OF THE AMERICAN ECONOMY, WHETHER ITS THE SERVICE, MANUFACTURING, OR OTHER SECTOR!!! FUCKING HELL YES, WE ARE GONNA GET MOTHERFUCKING JOBS PEOPLE!!! BELIEVE IT!!! SET THOSE ALARMS, DRINK YOUR COFFEE AND OR RED BULL, AND GET OUT THERE AND GET SHIT THE FUCK DONE!!! YEEAAAHHH!!!!


personally im committed to full modernity + full communism + positioning myself as a leader of tomorrow

#732
mt.real
Post rating: ~

ggw posted:

This is a pretty convincing argument imo

Doctors vs. Guns U.S. Statistics:

Number of physicians in the US = 700,000
Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year =120,000
Accidental deaths per physician = 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services)
Number of gun owners in the US = 80,000,000
Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) =1,500
Accidental deaths per gun owner = 0.0000188 (U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms)
Therefore, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

So now what? Ban doctors? Oh wait, Obamacare will fix all that.



american doctors are basically the worst, though, so there is that

#733
Post rating: ~

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

stegosaurus posted:

Utah is like honorary south

yo ima be in Utah in february

why

#734
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why not? it's a free country
#735
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freedom isn't free. but is it a vacation or something, whats going on
#736
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yup, hittin' up the SLC, also Vegz, LA, "Colo" as we like to call it

tell the LDS to lock up their daughters or ima marry all of them
#737
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people from SLC like to carry flags when they cross the street. also good luck trying to find cigarettes
#738
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yeah, you have to find a gas station first, its really hard to buy cigs, lol
#739
Post rating: ~
what seriously? where do they sell them

i heard the beer thing. Am i gonna have to take shit from LA if i want to drink Jack Daniels and stuff
#740
mt.real
Post rating: +
people will just assume you are an alcohol disposal and pour whatever they have in your mouth, you're australian or whatever right

also it is entirely socially acceptable for australians to be drunk everywhere in north america so go for it. have the jack daniels on an iv
#741
Post rating: ~
Well yeah obviously that wasn’t even in question…...canada last year we went through customs in Calgary already trashed and on valium and they looked at us dirty but let us in.....might save the weed smokin’ for Colorado this time tho
#742
[account deactivated]
#743
[account deactivated]
#744
Post rating: ~

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

Well yeah obviously that wasn’t even in question…...canada last year we went through customs in Calgary already trashed and on valium and they looked at us dirty but let us in.....might save the weed smokin’ for Colorado this time tho



you were in calgary? damn. shoulda met up. me and my friends absolutely hate australians. we take every single opportunity to make australian visitors as uncomfortable as possible. you woulda had a blast

#745
Post rating: ~
my brother-in-law was telling me how he was on a camping trip with a bunch of people and there was one australian there. the australian nailed a 2x4 to a tree so he could hang things from it. everyone was in so much awe of his ingenuity that they spent the rest of the camping trip commenting on what amazing idea that was and how he's such a good outdoorsmen.
i think thats why so many aussies love coming to calgary/banff. cause calgarians are so dumb and boring that they just mesh so perfectly with each other.
#746
Post rating: ~

hey posted:

my brother-in-law was telling me how he was on a camping trip with a bunch of people and there was one australian there. the australian nailed a 2x4 to a tree so he could hang things from it. everyone was in so much awe of his ingenuity that they spent the rest of the camping trip commenting on what amazing idea that was and how he's such a good outdoorsmen.
i think thats why so many aussies love coming to calgary/banff. cause calgarians are so dumb and boring that they just mesh so perfectly with each other.


your brother in law is a fucking retarded

#747
Not Your S.H.I.E.L.D.
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i hear sometimes Aussies even bury their feces in pits instead of simply letting it fall where it may

anyway, oing to look for a job today, wish me luck that i dont find one
#748
Not Your S.H.I.E.L.D.
Post rating: ~

Superabound posted:

anyway, oing to look for a job today,



lol it automatically tries to parse "i m g" even when its not in brackets. maybe one of you would hire me to fix your shitty forums software?

#749
Post rating: ~

hey posted:

Ironicwarcriminal posted:
Well yeah obviously that wasn’t even in question…...canada last year we went through customs in Calgary already trashed and on valium and they looked at us dirty but let us in.....might save the weed smokin’ for Colorado this time tho


you were in calgary? damn. shoulda met up. me and my friends absolutely hate australians. we take every single opportunity to make australian visitors as uncomfortable as possible. you woulda had a blast



Canadians are pretty damn boring.......we kept getting dirty looks for being too "loud" in restaurants and stuff and it's like shut up 'eh Wally, i'm drunk

#750
Poronto
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there is an australian living in toronto and he is quiet and shy and frequently dominated and browbeaten in public by his overweight canadian wife
#751
Post rating: +
browbeaten by a canadian....shameful
#752
[account deactivated]
#753
Post rating: ~
http://www.gamesetwatch.com/c3swear.jpg
#754
Poronto
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they should add that label to every piece of kitchen equipment. if you can or do cook you spend too much time thinking about food and basically are a fat cripple addict sorry
#755
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so what, you just eat out all the time or something
#756
Poronto
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even if that were the case, you can't deny it's cheaper*, quicker*, and far more energy efficient on a societywide level. but a hare krishna temple or a gurdwara is def the way to go

*if you don't eat inordinate quantities or concern yourself that much with the taste. it's fuel for more rewarding activities. eat to live, don't live to eat.
#757
Post rating: +

littlegreenpills posted:

they should add that label to every piece of kitchen equipment. if you can or do cook you spend too much time thinking about food and basically are a fat cripple addict sorry



u r an idiot

#758
Poronto
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That's sad. ad hominem and procto anus aka fail aids.
#759
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why do u ppl keep saying fail aids
#760
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wow did u niggas just argue about cooking