#1
Why do people have children?

I’ve been thinking about this recently as I’m in my mid 20s and only just last week has the first one of my close friends had a kid. It’s cute and all, and I certainly don’t have the anti-crotchspawn view of the more sociopathic childless, but it still just doesn’t add up to me.

What is the point of saddling yourself with such a burden? In the old days and poorer countries I guess it was so they could look after you in old age, but we’ve got superannuation (401Ks) and pensions and such for it these days, as well as a steady stream of immigrants to wipe the asses of our aging population.

Is it purely vanity? The desire to see a little reproduction of yourself, ideally a BETTER reproduction of yourself that won’t make the same mistake you did?

I don’t want to be judgemental, but I simply can’t think of anything that would negatively affect my life more than having a child. The economic costs far outweigh the economic benefits and any emotional feelings could be better served by getting a dog or something. Is it a status thing? Something to prove that you’re an “adult”?

Why?

Edited by Ironicwarcriminal ()

#2
[account deactivated]
#3
because you touch yourself at night
#4
I think I'll just join the foster system or adopt. when the time comes.
#5

stegosaurus posted:

I think I'll just join the foster system or adopt. when the time comes.



the time comes for what?

#6

blinkandwheeze posted:

because you touch yourself at night

#7
Our govt gives you $5K if you have a kid, thousands in handout bonuses to “families” and the girl I’m seeing’s doctor won’t even let her get sterilized. There really does seem to be a lot of social bias towards families and children and it would be nice to see that redressed.
#8
gives meaning to your life
#9
very carefully
#10
because they want more variety than the one child they've currently got shut in a secret chamber in the basement
#11

Crow posted:

#12

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

Our govt gives you $5K if you have a kid, thousands in handout bonuses to “families” and the girl I’m seeing’s doctor won’t even let her get sterilized. There really does seem to be a lot of social bias towards families and children and it would be nice to see that redressed.


That's not really social bias towards families. It's social bias against new immigrants.

#13
Halo: Reach
#14
ask goatstein
#15
Yes, Goatstein, can you tell us a story about how you had your child
#16

LandBeluga posted:

Ironicwarcriminal posted:
Our govt gives you $5K if you have a kid, thousands in handout bonuses to “families” and the girl I’m seeing’s doctor won’t even let her get sterilized. There really does seem to be a lot of social bias towards families and children and it would be nice to see that redressed.

That's not really social bias towards families. It's social bias against new immigrants.



The government literally chucks money a people with school age kids, and immigrants pop out more kids than whitey so they're getting just as good a deal.

Once ratified, the laws will deliver 1.3 million families cash payments of $410 a year for primary school children and $820 a year for secondary students as part of an overall package worth $2.1 billion to help parents pay for school needs like books and shoes.



Why am I paying for kids books?

#17

Crow posted:

Yes, Goatstein, can you tell us a story about how you had your child



would genuinely appreciate teh Goatman's thoughts on his new bub

#18

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

LandBeluga posted:

Ironicwarcriminal posted:
Our govt gives you $5K if you have a kid, thousands in handout bonuses to “families” and the girl I’m seeing’s doctor won’t even let her get sterilized. There really does seem to be a lot of social bias towards families and children and it would be nice to see that redressed.

That's not really social bias towards families. It's social bias against new immigrants.

The government literally chucks money a people with school age kids, and immigrants pop out more kids than whitey so they're getting just as good a deal.


The children of immigrants aren't immigrants. What I meant is that when the aim is to maintain demographics that favour continuous economic growth and help to keep pension funds solvent, it is generally more economical to do so through immigration than through financial incentives to have children. Yet those incentives are offered anyway.

#19
To strengthen the race, to multiply your values, and to make the majority portion of your life significantly more enjoyable.

FASCINATING, JOEL.... PLEASE... TELL ME MORE....

Edited by jools ()

#20
[account deactivated]
#21
#22
I just got a vasectomy and it owns, owns hard. The best part is that by the time I'm of an age I would consider having children it would be too late 'cause there would be almost no chance a reversal would be successful. Eat shit babyhavers
#23
because they touch other people at night
#24
one time when i was in college was the worst poop ever. i was sitting in my room at my dorm, writing an involved midterm paper, on what i don't know. my mini-fridge hummed as words appeared on my old, dilapidated, antedilvuian CRT monitor. my girlfriend of the time laid in bed, titties jizzable. as i sat typing i chewed in a beaver manner on a snack. in this event the snack was, regrettably, a mondo block of cheddar cheese, lightly chilled to maintain maximum consistency. for science ppl will remember, cheddar is a cheese that melts and gets greasy at room temperature, much like getfiscal.

after about an hour i looked down with confusion. where did my block of cheese go? then that thing happened in movies where the camera moved in while the lends moved out. i had eaten the cheese. horror gripped me then, non-euclidean, squamous horror from beyont even the stars. i farted anticipatorily,

next morning came with a sunrise like a roosters call heralding the blade of a dungeonmaster, or possibly an executioner if that first one wasn't the right word. my nethers coiled and thrashed like a faggotty snake and i ran to the dorm bathroom to empty my shame pants dropped, ass on seat, time before smartphone, i waited.

but nothing happened. at first. with effort necessary to make camus declare suicide inevitable, i pushed half a turd from my anus, where it hung, unrbroken, undefeated and defiant, its cheddar lattice like unto admantium. a second wiener hanging from mine buttwhole. i groaned like a man with a head wound watching his wife get raped, and bore down with effort to grind this turd from me. long story short, i pooped.
#25

GoldenLionTamarin posted:

gives meaning to your life



actually it just replaces one meaning (the good of the community) with a narrower meaning (the good of the family)

#26

crustpunk_trotsky posted:

GoldenLionTamarin posted:

gives meaning to your life

actually it just replaces one meaning (the good of the community) with a narrower meaning (the good of the family)



hahaha no it doesn't

#27
Why do people have hamsters?
#28
when I was young and irresponsible I might have been okay with the colored people moving in down the street, but I have a kid now, so we need to play it safe
#29
Yeah whenever I think of 20 year olds in the rich world I think of their deep commitment to communitarian ideals lol you sound like tias
#30

Groulxsmith posted:

Yeah whenever I think of 20 year olds in the rich world I think of their deep commitment to communitarian ideals lol you sound like tias



you dont understand bro. this organic fairtrade coffee is going to save the world.

#31

Goethestein posted:

one time when i was in college was the worst poop ever. i was sitting in my room at my dorm, writing an involved midterm paper, on what i don't know. my mini-fridge hummed as words appeared on my old, dilapidated, antedilvuian CRT monitor. my girlfriend of the time laid in bed, titties jizzable. as i sat typing i chewed in a beaver manner on a snack. in this event the snack was, regrettably, a mondo block of cheddar cheese, lightly chilled to maintain maximum consistency. for science ppl will remember, cheddar is a cheese that melts and gets greasy at room temperature, much like getfiscal.

after about an hour i looked down with confusion. where did my block of cheese go? then that thing happened in movies where the camera moved in while the lends moved out. i had eaten the cheese. horror gripped me then, non-euclidean, squamous horror from beyont even the stars. i farted anticipatorily,

next morning came with a sunrise like a roosters call heralding the blade of a dungeonmaster, or possibly an executioner if that first one wasn't the right word. my nethers coiled and thrashed like a faggotty snake and i ran to the dorm bathroom to empty my shame pants dropped, ass on seat, time before smartphone, i waited.

but nothing happened. at first. with effort necessary to make camus declare suicide inevitable, i pushed half a turd from my anus, where it hung, unrbroken, undefeated and defiant, its cheddar lattice like unto admantium. a second wiener hanging from mine buttwhole. i groaned like a man with a head wound watching his wife get raped, and bore down with effort to grind this turd from me. long story short, i pooped.



there you have it, iwc, goatshtine on childensraum. Ja wohl!!

#32
ppl have children because it is a biological imperative. the more kids you have and raise to breeding age the more you objectively win. that's a biological truth. no one will ever unseat ghengis khans high score tho.
#33
what's wrong with the irrational and nonsensical? connect with your family/history/all of procreating humanity, as well as become a better, less bitter, less egotistical person!! hard bros make babies
#34
same reason people make art. there is no spectacle one can craft that is more amazing or potentially transformative than a human being
#35
esp. if you're a no-talent hack like me and almost everyone else
#36
Family is the only thing you really have in this wicked world
#37
a better question is: How do people have children? How do I have sex with someone? Thanks.
#38
having kids is gay
#39

Myfanwy posted:

Family is the only thing you really have in this wicked world

actually i have a lot of money too

#40

AmericanNazbro posted:

a better question is: How do people have children? How do I have sex with someone? Thanks.

after glorious revolution a wife will be assigned to you by gosplan