#1
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#2
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#3
agreed.
#4
eseadubya eseadubya
#5
alternately referred to the Keystone State's 12 million residents as "animals" and "ghouls."
#6
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#7
Take it easy, Lady!
#8
this isn't as good as the one about bicycle socks but its a close second
#9
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#10

tpaine posted:

link


http://www.theonion.com/articles/cyclist-friend-explains-necessity-of-35-socks,18259/

#11
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#12
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#13
Presented by Arthur Schopenhauer

#14


#15
http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-am-old-and-confused-and-paralyzed-with-sexual-fr,31680/
#16
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#17
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#18
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#19
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#20
http://www.theonion.com/video/semiliterate-former-gold-prospector-given-own-cabl,17408/

Edited by ArisVelouchiotis ()

#21
http://www.theonion.com/articles/existentialist-firefighter-delays-3-deaths,17500/
#22
http://www.theonion.com/video/pragues-franz-kafka-international-named-worlds-mos,14321/
#23
For the life of me i'll never understand how this forum condemns Stewart and the daily show while loving the onion. Satire is the product of an ossified, paralysed society and can only ever weaken it.

Is it basically that Stewart very occasionally has the courage to be at least half-sincere and therefore worthy of contempt for “Care” or whatever? I honestly don’t understand it.
#24
heres a hint: his real name is leibowitz
#25
Speaking for myself; I'm a devoted Badgers fan
#26
http://www.hulu.com/watch/47360
Onion CEO responds to Iraq War Handicap skit
Posted By Uncle Jimbo •

I was on the outraged team when the Onion posted a piece about making the Iraq War handicap-accessible. It was unseemly to use images of amputee warriors to make what wasn't even a funny bit. I have seen the incredible bravery and strength shown by our wounded as they all struggle to recover. Most want nothing more than to simply return to their units and to see that desire mocked was wrong. And just to clarify for the many who pointed out that the piece was hitting the military bureaucracy not the troops, well no shit. It still used images that were inappropriate and that caused pain to a bunch of folks who just don't need that.

There was considerable buzz and calls to action such as contacting advertisers. I contacted a number of people at the Onion's business headquarters and let them know that they had stepped over the line. Some of you noticed that the video was pulled from their website late Friday. I got the following email from Onion CEO Steve Hannah today.

Dear Jim,
I meant to send this to you on Friday but the day got away from me.

We pulled this video off the site Friday evening. Our video team assures me that it was not the soldiers they were satirizing, but apparently that message was not clear to a lot of vets. (By the way, we have always had great support among the troops, who generally find our brand of satire--skewer the hypocrites and self-important--very appealing.) Last year we tried to do a deal with one of our advertisers to get The Onion (by request of soldiers) delivered to the Green Zone. Last year we also delivered piles of Onion to sailors (at their request) who were heading out for a long tour on a nuclear sub. And last summer the closed circuit TV at a big Army bases asked us if we would allow them to run the Onion News Network on their base. Yes, we said, but you better check with your commanding officer first because some folks find us a little edgy.
The fellow who owns the Onion has been a paraplegic for over 35 years. On his office desk he has a picture of five soldiers in Iraq in full battle gear wearing Onion T shirts. We are not insensitive jerks.
Believe it or not, The Onion's mission is to comfort the afflicted by afflicting the comfortable. Apparently our fans in the military thought we failed on this occasion.
Sincerely,
Steve

That is good enough for me and I appreciate the Onion acting quickly. I am the last person to be overly touchy FFS, I sing the song Sniper Wonderland which includes the lines.

In the field you hear a baby crying (crying)
As you stop to chamber another round
Shoot him in the head his brains go flying (flying)
And you can watch him quiver on the ground.

I just figger the Onion could avoid using wounded warriors as a punchline. Heck I remember the Onion when it was just a local thing in Madison with nutty UW kids cracking all of us up. So thanks Mr. Hannah.
#27
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#28
satire is like a valve on a pressure cooker; encouraging us to giggle at a moribund and worthless society when what we really need to do is fuck and destroy
#29

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

For the life of me i'll never understand how this forum condemns Stewart and the daily show while loving the onion. Satire is the product of an ossified, paralysed society and can only ever weaken it.

Is it basically that Stewart very occasionally has the courage to be at least half-sincere and therefore worthy of contempt for “Care” or whatever? I honestly don’t understand it.



Wow I guess this touched a nerve but I’m curious as to why 3 of the downvotes came from Crow, BHPN and Aedril who are all devout Communists

Do you think it’s healthy for society? The cynical and hopeless worldview that is pushed on the people by the same kind of nebbish, bitter malcontents the world over? Look at Yugoslavia and Russia and the explosion of satirical comedy there in the 80s as Communism was in its death throes, rooted in an ‘absurdist’ aesthetic that is about the most bourgeois thing imaginable.

Is it that you think the Onion is better because it’s critiquing the US? That because it’s tackling American hypocrisies (oh wow what a brave stand) the cynicism, hopelessness and apathy that it facilitates is excusable? If so this is myopic as hell; satire is nearly always the product of liberalism, a ‘sceptical’ mindset that would be just as vicious towards a Dictatorship of the Proletariat as to Monsanto or indeed anything and everything that isn’t themselves. It encourages people to believe that the concept of power itself is intrinsically corrupt, politicians as hypocritical and most importantly, their fellow humans as being shady, secretive, hateful and shallow.

Good luck building a new society based on equality and trust if you have a bunch of monty-python-quoting drama nerds up on TV eviscerating your highest ideals and most important policies.

#30

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

For the life of me i'll never understand how this forum condemns Stewart and the daily show while loving the onion. Satire is the product of an ossified, paralysed society and can only ever weaken it.

Is it basically that Stewart very occasionally has the courage to be at least half-sincere and therefore worthy of contempt for “Care” or whatever? I honestly don’t understand it.

Wow I guess this touched a nerve but I’m curious as to why 3 of the downvotes came from Crow, BHPN and Aedril who are all devout Communists

Do you think it’s healthy for society? The cynical and hopeless worldview that is pushed on the people by the same kind of nebbish, bitter malcontents the world over? Look at Yugoslavia and Russia and the explosion of satirical comedy there in the 80s as Communism was in its death throes, rooted in an ‘absurdist’ aesthetic that is about the most bourgeois thing imaginable.

Is it that you think the Onion is better because it’s critiquing the US? That because it’s tackling American hypocrisies (oh wow what a brave stand) the cynicism, hopelessness and apathy that it facilitates is excusable? If so this is myopic as hell; satire is nearly always the product of liberalism, a ‘sceptical’ mindset that would be just as vicious towards a Dictatorship of the Proletariat as to Monsanto or indeed anything and everything that isn’t themselves. It encourages people to believe that the concept of power itself is intrinsically corrupt, politicians as hypocritical and most importantly, their fellow humans as being shady, secretive, hateful and shallow.

Good luck building a new society based on equality and trust if you have a bunch of monty-python-quoting drama nerds up on TV eviscerating your highest ideals and most important policies.


thats a lot of words

#31

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

For the life of me i'll never understand how this forum condemns Stewart and the daily show while loving the onion. Satire is the product of an ossified, paralysed society and can only ever weaken it.

Is it basically that Stewart very occasionally has the courage to be at least half-sincere and therefore worthy of contempt for “Care” or whatever? I honestly don’t understand it.

#32
IWC is right, give me a nation that produces a good tragedy. why do you think old people in America are so bitter and grumpy? they've used their better years for gimmickry, cleverness, business, things that didn't matter
#33

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

For the life of me i'll never understand how this forum condemns Stewart and the daily show while loving the onion. Satire is the product of an ossified, paralysed society and can only ever weaken it.

Is it basically that Stewart very occasionally has the courage to be at least half-sincere and therefore worthy of contempt for “Care” or whatever? I honestly don’t understand it.

Wow I guess this touched a nerve but I’m curious as to why 3 of the downvotes came from Crow, BHPN and Aedril who are all devout Communists

Do you think it’s healthy for society? The cynical and hopeless worldview that is pushed on the people by the same kind of nebbish, bitter malcontents the world over? Look at Yugoslavia and Russia and the explosion of satirical comedy there in the 80s as Communism was in its death throes, rooted in an ‘absurdist’ aesthetic that is about the most bourgeois thing imaginable.

Is it that you think the Onion is better because it’s critiquing the US? That because it’s tackling American hypocrisies (oh wow what a brave stand) the cynicism, hopelessness and apathy that it facilitates is excusable? If so this is myopic as hell; satire is nearly always the product of liberalism, a ‘sceptical’ mindset that would be just as vicious towards a Dictatorship of the Proletariat as to Monsanto or indeed anything and everything that isn’t themselves. It encourages people to believe that the concept of power itself is intrinsically corrupt, politicians as hypocritical and most importantly, their fellow humans as being shady, secretive, hateful and shallow.

Good luck building a new society based on equality and trust if you have a bunch of monty-python-quoting drama nerds up on TV eviscerating your highest ideals and most important policies.

the onion is funny and cool but jon stewart is a weepy liberal who held a non-political "rally to restore sanity," hopw this explains it

#34
the onion basically telephones slashie when she's overdosing on diet pill meth and asks her what's bothering her today. and she'll go argh gun owners are so racist. and they go okay how's this for a headline: "Gun Owner Likes Guns, Racism". which is fine but it mildly annoys me that they think of themselves as edgy humour when basically a senior tv producer on the ellen show probably comes up with stuff that makes the onion look like a church circular.
#35
hahaha i don't even know what i'm mad about
#36
yeah i dont think the onion actually does that kind of story so much
#37
on the other hand... http://www.theonion.com/articles/hi-in-the-past-2-years-you-have-allowed-me-to-kill,31805/
#38

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

For the life of me i'll never understand how this forum condemns Stewart and the daily show while loving the onion. Satire is the product of an ossified, paralysed society and can only ever weaken it.

Is it basically that Stewart very occasionally has the courage to be at least half-sincere and therefore worthy of contempt for “Care” or whatever? I honestly don’t understand it.

Wow I guess this touched a nerve but I’m curious as to why 3 of the downvotes came from Crow, BHPN and Aedril who are all devout Communists

Do you think it’s healthy for society? The cynical and hopeless worldview that is pushed on the people by the same kind of nebbish, bitter malcontents the world over? Look at Yugoslavia and Russia and the explosion of satirical comedy there in the 80s as Communism was in its death throes, rooted in an ‘absurdist’ aesthetic that is about the most bourgeois thing imaginable.

Is it that you think the Onion is better because it’s critiquing the US? That because it’s tackling American hypocrisies (oh wow what a brave stand) the cynicism, hopelessness and apathy that it facilitates is excusable? If so this is myopic as hell; satire is nearly always the product of liberalism, a ‘sceptical’ mindset that would be just as vicious towards a Dictatorship of the Proletariat as to Monsanto or indeed anything and everything that isn’t themselves. It encourages people to believe that the concept of power itself is intrinsically corrupt, politicians as hypocritical and most importantly, their fellow humans as being shady, secretive, hateful and shallow.

Good luck building a new society based on equality and trust if you have a bunch of monty-python-quoting drama nerds up on TV eviscerating your highest ideals and most important policies.



i agree. taking the piss out of the enemy is the tactic you can only adopt in the face of your utter impotence. it lessens the rage you need to build. there's no way to laugh off a bullet. thanks for setting this example iwc, i can't remember the last time you said anything remotely amusing

#39

littlegreenpills posted:

Ironicwarcriminal posted:
Ironicwarcriminal posted:
For the life of me i'll never understand how this forum condemns Stewart and the daily show while loving the onion. Satire is the product of an ossified, paralysed society and can only ever weaken it.

Is it basically that Stewart very occasionally has the courage to be at least half-sincere and therefore worthy of contempt for “Care” or whatever? I honestly don’t understand it.
Wow I guess this touched a nerve but I’m curious as to why 3 of the downvotes came from Crow, BHPN and Aedril who are all devout Communists

Do you think it’s healthy for society? The cynical and hopeless worldview that is pushed on the people by the same kind of nebbish, bitter malcontents the world over? Look at Yugoslavia and Russia and the explosion of satirical comedy there in the 80s as Communism was in its death throes, rooted in an ‘absurdist’ aesthetic that is about the most bourgeois thing imaginable.

Is it that you think the Onion is better because it’s critiquing the US? That because it’s tackling American hypocrisies (oh wow what a brave stand) the cynicism, hopelessness and apathy that it facilitates is excusable? If so this is myopic as hell; satire is nearly always the product of liberalism, a ‘sceptical’ mindset that would be just as vicious towards a Dictatorship of the Proletariat as to Monsanto or indeed anything and everything that isn’t themselves. It encourages people to believe that the concept of power itself is intrinsically corrupt, politicians as hypocritical and most importantly, their fellow humans as being shady, secretive, hateful and shallow.

Good luck building a new society based on equality and trust if you have a bunch of monty-python-quoting drama nerds up on TV eviscerating your highest ideals and most important policies.


i agree. taking the piss out of the enemy is the tactic you can only adopt in the face of your utter impotence. it lessens the rage you need to build. there's no way to laugh off a bullet. thanks for setting this example iwc, i can't remember the last time you said anything remotely amusing



thanks, i never try to be 'amusing' but if I want to be amused i'll watch Volga! Volga!

#40
ATLANTA—Addressing attendees gathered for this week’s TEDxEvolution Conference, al-Qaeda head Ayman al-Zawahiri delivered an informative and engrossing TEDTalk on the state of worldwide terrorism, entitled “Terror At A Crossroads: Instilling Fear In The 21st-Century Infidel.” “We find ourselves in an ever-evolving, globally connected community that is confronted with numerous societal and economic obstacles every day. The question is, and it’s a difficult one, how can we, as terrorist cells, overcome these roadblocks while staying true to our vision? How do we adapt?” the 56-year-old al-Qaeda leader and Islamist militant said while audience members reportedly nodded their heads, took notes, and laughed when al-Zawahiri delivered some lighthearted jabs at former boss Osama bin Laden. “For example, what happens when your terrorist organization’s overseas assets are frozen? Do you you lash out, behead a journalist, and destroy an Amsterdam bus station? Or do you regroup, assess the situation, see if you can make a connection—a very real, very honest, very genuine connection—with another terrorist group, and together figure out a way to acquire a nuclear weapon? Connections, folks. Both personal and professional. That’s really what we’re talking about today.” Sources confirmed that at the end of his 18-minute speech, audience members gave al-Zawahiri a standing ovation.