#41
5 minutes of jokes, 2 min of which are good, and 5 minutes of berating the crowd, telling unrelated stories, speaking to someone in the audience, etc. Eventually you'll get better and have 7 minutes of good jokes, at which point you'll be asked to do 15-20 minutes. This is called "on the job learning"
#42
Anyone here smoke WEED? YEAH?! You know when you're rolling one of your blunt fats, right? And it's like - haha - that scene from Hawaiian Express where, y'know James Franco does - haha - yeah.
#43

Keven posted:

5 minutes of jokes, 2 min of which are good, and 5 minutes of berating the crowd, telling unrelated stories, speaking to someone in the audience, etc. Eventually you'll get better and have 7 minutes of good jokes, at which point you'll be asked to do 15-20 minutes. This is called "on the job learning"


I'm sure the provincial government will pay for comedic skills training and upgrading.

#44


#45

Keven posted:

5 minutes of jokes, 2 min of which are good, and 5 minutes of berating the crowd, telling unrelated stories, speaking to someone in the audience, etc. Eventually you'll get better and have 7 minutes of good jokes, at which point you'll be asked to do 15-20 minutes. This is called "on the job learning"



lol

#46
there is a comedy writing program in toronto but i sort of assume it's aimed at hyperactive people who want to be on the daily show and not people who mull whether or not stalin was a good guy.
#47
MillionDollarExtreme 2 weeks ago
I just don't think it's good (communism/socialism). I think it was designed to smash the middle class and clearly delineate the ruling and the ruled, which is what it seems to be doing all over the world. I don't think it acknowledges human nature, it requires people all have a brotherly attitude and a desire to share, which is unrealistic. I think Island by Aldous Huxley is a freakish nightmare fairy tale written by a drug-addled dying man--Brave New World much closer to the truth.

MillionDollarExtreme 2 weeks ago
that's the whole point you little dildo. I started making bad occupy puns because i hate people who crack occupy jokes, especially ones that are needlessly dumb and show no understanding of the underlying causes of all this unrest. P.S. human nature is shaped MORE by genetics and evolution, sorry to break the news to you but millions of years of selfish gene evolution and only sharing with local groups not global ones can't be changed by holding hands and singing songs.

MillionDollarExtreme 4 weeks ago
we have new knowl. and tech. but the human brain hasn't changed, and that's why the reasons communism failed still apply today. i mean how can you have a non-competitive economy? what if someone can bring you great products at low low prices, even lower than walmart? without competition, walmart would be God and there could be no challengers

businesses fail when they are not as good as their competitors. if you take away the competition you'd have what we have now, stagnant monopolies

MillionDollarExtreme 4 weeks ago
"what has even gotten humanity to this point has been our cooperative abilities."
fuck how could i forget about this. Thank you socialism for electricity, the automobile, the telephone, the personal computer, yada yada yada.. so glad we have been working together this whole time in the interest of humanity to uplift the people and smash the Masters...

sorry for only reading pop airport magazine store books, next time i read i will make sure to read harvard smarty books like you!

MillionDollarExtreme 1 month ago
i'm interested in the liberty of every single person in the world including people i hate... economic liberty and social liberty are not two different things, they are linked, we should be free to associate and do business with whom we choose and say whatever we want, as long as it does not encroach upon the liberties of someone else-->that's the recipe for the fairest system we are capable of creating and for the most prosperity, now stop dropping acid and go do your homework!

MillionDollarExtreme 1 month ago
human nature... look up tragedy of the commons. read blank slate by steven pinker. i make $30,000/year and i have no assets, accusing me of being an elitist is a little confusing. we don't need to meet up, you already hammered me for about an hour on facebook and the conclusion i came to is that you need to do less drugs and maybe read more. in a free market, profits and losses are equally important--bailing out businesses, allowing lobbyists, these are perversions of free market capitalism...

MillionDollarExtreme 1 month ago
"We need to learn to make sharing work" <-- that's your main problem here. You think it's possible to change human nature. You probably think the problem is with greedy industrialists who don't care about the common man, but ironically, The Great Unwashed who can barely spell their own name or pull up their own pants are even more disinterested in your utopian bullshit, all they care about is NFL and free food. The only people who want the world to be one big commune are your college peers.

MillionDollarExtreme 1 month ago
they tried this "everybody is equal and should share" stuff in soviet russia and it was disastrous... corrupt officials only concerned with covering their own asses, warehouses full of rotting grain.. economics is more complex than "we all need to share" vs. "i want to keep what's mine"... you can't encourage innovation without incentive (which is profit). the prospect of making a profit is the prime motivator for people to strive and toil and make something that benefits society

MillionDollarExtreme 1 month ago
Basic Economics by Thomas Sowell... required reading for you sir

MillionDollarExtreme 1 month ago
yea, darsh, the free market. The book is 20 bucks and it puts in layman's terms how markets function. It shows, very clearly, with examples, that individuals freely associating will always beat the prescriptions of a central czar or price committee or whatever. I agree it would be nice if everything were free but socialism has already been tried in many flavors. At best, it seems like it can work in small, ethnically homogeneous countries where people give a shit about their country... (cont)
MillionDollarExtreme 1 month ago
...and at worst it leads to gross inefficiency, famine, poverty, waste, restriction on civil liberties, etc etc etc. I get that youre young and idealistic but you need to read some books instead of just thinking of "the way everything should be, according to me"... you probably havent read the communist manifesto you just have some vague Daily Show notion that we should all be sharing and that industry is evil. Industry is the reason you have a dope phone, a cool car, and cheap food


cocksnap123 6 days ago
are you a libertarian?
Reply · in reply to MillionDollarExtreme


MillionDollarExtreme 5 days ago
yah
Reply · in reply to cocksnap123
#48

prikryl posted:

smash the middle class


#49

prikryl posted:

cocksnap123 6 days ago
are you a libertarian?
Reply · in reply to MillionDollarExtreme


MillionDollarExtreme 5 days ago
yah
Reply · in reply to cocksnap123


#50
everyone i know in stand up has no idea about weird twitter or mde or anything like that
#51
mind=blown.wmv is funny but most of his other stuff isn't. weird twitter should die but good posters should come back to fyad. fyad still rules.
#52
everyone i know in standup tells jokes about tampons and cocaine
#53
same
#54
Personally im surrounded @ all times by 2-5 ppl talking about their erections
#55
its just because im standing in a fitting room tho
#56
i met the social media head for collegehumor dot com and she has less than half the followers of wolf pupy on twitter but, you know, she goes on TV and gets paid money

the comedian i know the best has own tour and is on another east coast tour and as of last week didnt know anything about tim and eric or mr show

"weird" "Comedy" just isn't popular
#57
Stand up comedy is cool.... its about time ignorant white 20 somethings had a safe space to share their feelings about boners, and race.
#58

daddyholes posted:

i met the social media head for collegehumor.com and she has less than half the followers of wolf pupy on twitter but, you know, she goes on TV and gets paid money

the comedian i know the best has own tour and is on another east coast tour and as of last week didnt know anything about tim and eric or mr show

"weird" "Comedy" just isn't popular



popular stuff sucks, idiot.

#59
actually being in with the tim and eric crew gets you in the endless rotation of tv guest spots and comedy central/ifc shows but i mean its no college humor dot com
#60

Keven posted:

actually being in with the tim and eric crew gets you in the endless rotation of tv guest spots and comedy central/ifc shows but i mean its no college humor dot com



i don't think that's the "tim and eric crew"

#61
as in all these people know maria bamford
#62
i feel like i should be a standup comedian just based on how anxious i am. like once you have so many panic attacks they should give you a special on comedy central.
#63
I thought tragedy of the commons is an example of why everyone following their own rational self-interest leads to disaster? (i.e. anti-lib ideology)
#64

deadken posted:

cleanhands posted:

i checked on twitter but i couldnt find the tweet, someone post that tweet

https://twitter.com/degg/status/319564851464769536

160 chars and 0 new material lol

#65
Donald you should be a stand up heterodox economist
#66

gyrofry posted:

Donald you should be a stand up heterodox economist

i literally should in real life.

#67
I have an idea for a standup routine that is an uncomfortably earnest and focused description of my Lust for Allison brie, and nothing else
#68

MadMedico posted:

"Ahem, hi I'd like to read to you some selections from my poems. This first one is called Ten Years Ago"



you don’t know how it felt to be in the womb but it must have been at least a little warmer than this.

you don’t know how intimately they’re recording your every move on closed-circuit cameras until you see your face reflected back at you through through the pulp.

you don’t know how to stop picking at your fingers.

you don’t know how little you’ve been paying attention until you look down at your legs again.

you don’t know how many times you can say you’re coming until they just stop believing you.

you don’t know how orgasmic the act of taking in a lungful of oxygen is until they hold your head under the water.

you don’t know how many vietnamese soft rolls to order.

you don’t know how convinced your parents were that having children would be, absolutely, without question, the correct thing to do.

you don’t know how precious your iphone battery time was until you’re hiding in the bottom of the boat.

you don’t know how to get away from your fucking parents.

you don’t know how it’s possible to feel total compassion in one moment and total disconnection in the next moment.

you don’t know how things could change so incredibly fast.

you don’t know how to make something, but the instructions are on the internet.

you don’t know how to make sense of this massive parade.

you don’t know how to believe anyone anymore.

you don’t know how to tell the girl in the chair next to you that you’ve been peeking at her dissertation draft and there’s a grammatical typo in the actual file name.

you don’t know how to explain yourself.

you don’t want two percent but it’s all they have.

you don’t know how claustrophobic your house is until you can’t leave it.

you don’t know why you let that guy go without shooting him dead and stuffing him in some bushes between cambridge and watertown.

you don’t know where your friends went.

you don’t know how to dance but you give it a shot anyway.

you don’t know how your life managed to move twenty six miles forward and twenty eight miles back.

you don’t know how to pay your debts.

you don’t know how to separate from this partnership to escape and finally breathe.

you don’t know how come people run their goddamn knees into the ground anyway.

you don’t know how to measure the value of the twenty dollar bill clutched in your hurting hand.

you don’t know how you walked into this trap so obliviously.

you don’t know how to adjust the rearview mirror.

you don’t know how to mourn your dead brother.

you don’t know how to drive this car.

you don’t know the way to new york.

you don’t know the way to new york.

you don’t know the way to new york.

you don’t know the way to new york.

#69
lmao
#70
#71

NoFreeWill posted:

mind=blown.wmv is funny but most of his other stuff isn't. weird twitter should die but good posters should come back to fyad. fyad still rules.



posting on forums is some dumb ass 2007 shit

#72
[account deactivated]
#73
i am stupid

Edited by raptornomics ()

#74
i think its to signify that it's not kid-appropriate humor (giving them leeway for racier jokes or something), without calling it "adult humor" with everything such a label implies.
#75

codywilson posted:

i think its to signify that it's not kid-appropriate humor (giving them leeway for racier jokes or something), without calling it "adult humor" with everything such a label implies.


get out

#76
it's odd that he plays the woe-is-me card in the video description. it's normal to take umbrage with your critics, but his response doesn't really jibe with reality. the guy does ten minutes of kkk material at some silly twitter gathering, he insults people and tells some girl in the audience to die in a car accident, and when vitriol is slung his way he appears bewildered. his critics are portrayed as the scum of the earth, people who'd spent the night heckling a house fire, when in reality they were just a bit harsh with the purveyor of a harsh set.

Edited by ArisVelouchiotis ()

#77
[account deactivated]
#78
whats wired twitter. can i monetise the "corey brand"
#79
[account deactivated]
#80

corey posted:

whats wired twitter. can i monetise the "corey brand"

the gowb brand is probably more marketable